But before they get started, there is an issue that must be addressed concerning the accessory choice of resident Missouri native of German-Czech dissent, Thyrn Franz. She’s a little cutie with big fat…glasses? That’s right, this school dazed biology student showed up to the studio sporting some spectacles that she had fused back together with hot glue. If you are moved by this tale of woe, please consider donating to the “Thryn’s new glasses fund.” Radio show producers should not be condemned to a life of DIY superglue projects.
On a more serious note, Chris brings a matter to the floor that ushers in an uncharacteristic turn towards anthropological development. The inevitable loss of culture in the global melting pot. “Back in the day,” Chris begins, “people were so like super proud of their heritage, now they just say that they’re American.”
Dean responds, “Some guy just died who was the last of his kind, the last speaker of dying language.”
What brought about this unusual conversation? Dean had originally thought that Jehue was either French Canadian or Haitian. Since he was neither, the Big-un saves himself by telling his listeners a story about when he used to have a female Haitian personal traitor who was “whiter than him” but spoke fluent Creole. Apparently, the language of Creole and ass-whipping workouts go hand in hand, because during this phase Dean was in the best shape of his life! (Thryn was looking up this person in the phone book as Dean was speaking, operation Creole intervention anyone?)
From Haiti we progress to China – one of the most Americanized, or better put, “Westernized” countries on the planet. A people who firmly believe that they are “the better version.” Can you blame them? These are the people are rocking ipod wristbands while Americans are still toting around clunkers like the iPod video! Who are we to claim supremacy while Asian chicks are sporting iPod earrings – they can listen to music and be fashionable at the same time! And what’s more, that forward thinking culture has come up with the revolutionary concept known as the sexbot (an idea that’s better suited to Fallout: New Vegas than modern reality). But, these things do exist, and total recall plus sexbots equal the real deal in the virtual sex castle, the problem: you will know you’ve crossed the drawbridge.
This is the part of the show where Thryn gets to show how intelligent she is. She explains, “Anything can be recalled, the synapses are real, so its just as real as the event taking place.” So, those memories created in the love making machine will stay with you forever, and for all intents and purposes, you won’t know the difference.
Jehue Francois’s show “The Gag Order,” is going to be coming back better than ever, a self proclaimed “cluster of nonsense” where some of the area’s most underrated talent can get on and strut their stuff. It’s going to be coming at you live, so that guests can call in…and if you rub Jehue the right way he will take on all fair weather friends.
– Joey Phoenix is a Boston based freelance wordsmith who delights in the defiantly unorthodox.